Welcome to the homepage for
The First Church of LARRY
Here you will find information and historical texts from church archives.
The First Admonition of Judith
Letter from Judith to the Yahoovians
After these messages of Judith had traveled far and wide across the land
there cam a response from Brother Curt, the Wise Man of the Lake, who said:
"I wonder what Larry would like to see here.
Is he as holy as Judith would like us to believe?
Should we expect him to heal the sick or walk on water sometime in the near future.
"Larry H. Christ" does have an interesting ring to it, no?"
To Which The Honorable Prophet DZM replied:
Uh-Oh. I just got this mental picture of a fish wearing a fedora,
with the letters LARRY inside it (the fish)
attached to the backs of cars around the world.
Thus was born the Larryfish™
For Official Larryfish™ Merchandise go to:
Official LarryFish™ Store
The Larry Prayer:
Invocation for the Playa Faithful
Brother Dave Goff
Great Father of Black Rock
Go forth into the Black Rock my Children of the Burn only if carrying large quantities of Cheetos, for the Cheeto is prized nearly as much as your most sacred substance: beer.
Verily I say unto you: Sturgeon's in Lovelock is a place of many delights.
Listen not to the nay-sayers who might discourage you from bringing a table of descent size.
The Great Father above brings you wind. Wind is natural and good.
Yet the enemy of all shade structures has a name, and his name is SLACK.
Set camp not in the darkness of night, for thou may awaken to the terrible sights
not meant to be witnessed by even the most hardenedBurner: Elephant Butt.
Carry with thee to the desert the most sturdy of trash bags even though there may be those among you will attempt to use a trash bag that is inferior in the eyes of the Great Father.
All makeup projects should begin with a plan.
Know always that those who possess beer have dominion over others who are less prepared.
The wise will arrive early for the fashion show.
Fruit is shunned by those of the desert; therefore, take chips and beef jerky.
After sacred beer, the most cherished item in the Black Rock is ear plugs.
I say unto you now that vitamin B-12 is a blessing
to those who have the most joyous times in the Black Rock.
All-A-Dollar batteries suck.
Those in the Black Rock without colorful clothing and
body paintings are like the clams in the ocean without shells.
Did the Great Father mention that beer is good?
Covet not thy neighbor's motor home, for thee could have rented one thyself, dumb shit.
Take comfort in the knowledge that no matter the intolerable heat,
the next BLOWOUT is just around the corner.
Remember my Children that Ultimus Gimp Loves You.
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