February 8th, 2011
The tragedy here in Eugene this week has me asking myself this question:
“Why Don’t We…?”
For those of my friends not local or who otherwise have not heard, this last Saturday two young men from my daughter’s high school, Jack and Connor, drowned when they were swept into the ocean by a sneaker wave at the Oregon coast. Both of them were classmates of Sofia’s. One of them, Jack, was her friend.
The news hit our family and our community hard. Both of them were truly good young men, who clearly brought joy to those around them and their loss has been hard for everyone affected.
In the midst of the heartache, seeing our community rally to the side of the family friends and classmates of Jack and Connor….the gathering together…providing hugs, words of comfort, a shoulder to cry on….the incredible outpouring of caring and sympathy and support was a warm glimmer of light in an otherwise dark time.
Then the question came:
“Why don’t we…?”
Why don’t we treat each other this way all the time?
Why don’t we show each other this type of kindness and respect in all of our dealings with the world..and each other?
Why don’t we show our love and concern for one another on a daily basis?
Why don’t we live each day keeping the shared knowledge that “this life is fragile and fleeting” more in the forefront of our minds and let it reflect on what we do, and how we act? Why don’t we act in a way that is more kind….gracious…caring….and not let all of the petty things get in the way of us being decent to each other…
In my heart of hearts, I know the answers to my own question.
We forget.
We move on.
Being kind and caring takes effort.
Being nice can be dangerous.
We forget… this feeling that we are enveloping ourselves in right now…in part because we want to forget, because this feeling it is intertwined with the grief of the loss of our friends.
We want to move on….leave the pain behind and get back to ‘normal’.
It takes effort to live a life of kindness and caring in a world that can be so unkind and uncaring. It takes effort to make our way through the world…taking the time to say kind words….being patient….not taking offense, not thinking unkindly towards those with whom we disagree.
It’s dangerous…in that we open ourselves up…expose ourselves….kindness…caring…these can be seen by some as weakness. Something to be exploited. Something to take advantage of…
But…. maybe we can..
Maybe we can keep just a little of this…’kindness’… with us into the future.
Maybe we can put in just a little more effort in appreciating each other more than we did last week. Last month. Last year.
Maybe we can honor the memories of those we’ve lost by taking a little of what they gave us, what we are missing from them now…and paying it forward into the future….and make the rest of our everydays just a little more full of the kindness, the connection to each other, than they might have been otherwise.
Maybe we can.
You know what?
Why don’t we?
-Pat
No act of kindness
no matter how small
is ever wasted
-Aesop